Since
the great Columbia University scandal of 1984, paranormal
investigations have had a bad rap in the United States,
at least on the East coast. Seattle writer Matthew Baldwin
joins up with A.G.H.O.S.T. for a night of spirit seeking.
It is ten oclock on a moonless Friday night, and I have
spent the last hour searching a cemetery for ghosts. Actually,
having seen no paranormal activity thus far, Im now just
wandering around and reading the graves.
Before
me is a large, marble tombstone in the shadow of a tree
with an inscription I cant quite discern. Lacking a flashlight
(I was too stupid to bring one, and too embarrassed by
my stupidity to borrow someone elses) Ive discovered I
can see things in the cemetery by taking pictures of them
with my digital camera and then viewing the photos in
preview mode.
I
snap a photo of the monument, and then look to the display
screen to see what I have captured. A moment passes while
the camera saves the picture to disc. Then the image appears:
a gravestone reading BABY MONSTER.
*
* *
Earlier
in the evening I met Ross Allison, President and Founder
of A.G.H.O.S.T. (Amateur Ghost Hunters Of Seattle/Tacoma),
who had invited me to join tonights Expedition. I arrived
a bit early at the semi-official A.G.H.O.S.T. staging
ground (Dennys) to fortify myself with a B.L.T. and read
the A.G.H.O.S.T. history I had printed out from their
Web site.
The
organization began in 2001, when Ross and a few acquaintances
began periodically gathering to discuss the possibility
of life after death. Although the group took small-scale
field trips to potentially haunted sites, A.G.H.O.S.T.
remained little more than a neighborhood club until the
Vice President, Patricia Woolard, managed to wangle permission
to investigate the Kalakala, a Seattle ferry rumored to
carry more than just passengers. The subsequent Investigation
(during which Ross concluded that the vessel was filled
with a lot of residual hauntings) gave the group direction,
and the attendant media coverage put the fledging ghost
hunters on the paranormal map.
Since
then, A.G.H.O.S.T. has performed a number of Investigations
throughout the Pacific Northwest, but only a few A.G.H.O.S.T.
members are allowed to attend these rigorous and serious
excursions in order to keep the cooks-to-kitchen ratio
at an absolute minimum. So as the groups membership grew,
Ross initiated monthly Expeditions: for-fun explorations
of potentially-haunted sites that any member can join.
Shortly
after I finished reading, Ross approached and asked if
I was Matthew. As I shook his hand I wondered why he was
alone, thinking, is it just going to be this complete
stranger and me tonight, alone in a graveyard? When I
asked if anyone else was joining us, Ross gestured to
a corner of the restaurant where a score of people were
already gathered, animatedly chatting and ordering dinner.
I
seated myself on the fringe, next to a man in his mid-forties
who promptly introduced himself and began to tell me of
the many spirit-infested places he and the Wife had visited.
He spoke of the ghost tours they had taken and the haunted
hotels they had slept in, ending each narrative with but
we didnt really see anything or, nothing happened while
we were there.
By
the time he launched into an account of their stay at
the Manresa Castle, a century-old manor located on the
Washington coast, Id stopped taking notes and was only
half-listening. We stayed in 306, a haunted room where
a women committed suicide, he said. But nothing happened.
I nodded like I was even vaguely interested. After we
checked out, he continued, the Wife was taking one last
shot of the castle with the video camera. And just as
she got to the window of room 306, the curtains opened
slightly.
They
what?! I exclaimed a little too loudly.
Yeah,
the man said. I figured it was probably a maid, but the
Wife made me go up and check it out. So I ran up to the
room. The door was open and the cleaning people were down
the hall. They said they hadnt been in there.
And
you have this on video? I asked
Right,
the man replied. The Wife and I went home and watched
it and could can see the curtains open. Later we went
to some friends house and showed the tape to them, but
just when it got to the window, the picture started skipping
around. It didnt stop until after the room 306 window
was out of the shot. The tapes been like that ever since.
Im
not one to give unsolicited advice, but I considered telling
the man to lead with this story in the future.
*
* *
Half
an hour later we piled into our cars and caravanned to
Saars Memorial Cemetery. It was five-minute trip, and
I listened to the radio during the drive. For some inexplicable
reason the local alternative station was playing Frank
Sinatras Ive Got You Under My Skin. By the time I arrived
at the graveyard I was thoroughly creeped out.
*
* *
Wolf
is the groups Director Of Research its his job to find
out all he can about the sites A.G.H.O.S.T. visits. But
they wont let me research a place until after theyve done
an Investigation, he says, as we stand chatting in the
graveyard. Ross doesnt want his team to have any advanced
knowledge about the sites they visit, fearing it might
prejudice their findings. This, Wolf tells me, is in accordance
with international ghost-hunting protocol.
So,
you dont know anything about this cemetery? I ask. Wolf
says no. All I know, he continues, is that Peter Sarr
started this cemetery in 1873 after his wife died and
he couldnt cross a flooded river. The last person was
buried here around 1950.
Wait,
I say confused, So you did research this place.
Oh
no, Wolf replies, Im just reading that. His flashlight
beam is pointed to a large wooden sign that states all
the aforementioned facts.
I
ask why A.G.H.O.S.T. chose to visit this particular cemetery.
We scouted this place out before, and noticed a lot of
the graves were desecrated. Wolf says. Look at how many
of the tombstones have been broken or pushed over, by
high school students or something. He looks frustrated
and angry. Kids need to learn that you shouldnt mess around
with people. It doesnt matter if the people are sleeping.
Jennifer
joins us. One of the groups psychics (or sensitives, as
they call themselves) Jennifer tells me theres a little
girls grave somewhere in the middle of a huge bramble
that has taken over a corner of the graveyard. She says
we need to come back and pull up those bushes, so people
can come visit her again.
Wolf
says hes also slightly psychic, but nowhere near as sensitive
as Jennifer. I can see figures standing over there, he
says, pointing to some graves a ways off. And I can also
hear the girl in the WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
I
whirl around and look where Wolfs pointing, but dont notice
anything unusual. What did you see?
I
saw flickering red lights! Wolf says eagerly. They looked
like THERE THEY ARE!!
I
see them too, unnaturally bright red lights zipping across
the brambles leaves.
Oh,
thats me, says another A.G.H.O.S.T. member from nearby.
He has a hi-tech, instant thermometer with a laser pointer,
and is trying to get a reading from the thicket, hoping
to find a cold patch and confirm the existence of Jennifers
little girl.
Though digital cameras have made ghost hunting easier,
they have also leeched some of the wonder out of the sport
A.G.H.O.S.T. prides itself on its use of technology. In
addition to the thermometer, they also employ electromagnetic
field detectors, Geiger counters, barometers, and a laptop
hooked up to a host of sensors. The latter has been dubbed
S.P.E.C.T.R.E. for Special Paranormal Energy Computer
Tracking Research Equipment. Someone in A.G.H.O.S.T. loves
acronyms.
The
primary tool in ghost-hunting, however, has become the
digital camera. Ghost hunters of yore had to develop their
film before they knew if they had captured anything, but
now spirit seekers can just wave a camera around, take
pictures at random, examine the photos in preview mode
and immediately delete the ones that come up empty.
A.G.H.O.S.T.
photographers (and videographers) are seeking orbs and
ecto, the two ways, they say, that ghosts manifest themselves
in photographs. An orb looks like a sphere of illumination;
ecto short for ectoplasm appears as wisps or misty patches.
Ross acknowledges that it can be difficult to distinguish
true orbs and ecto from light-tricks and poor photographic
practices; as we entered the cemetery Ross pointed out
that it was a cold night and urged us not to photograph
our own breath and mistake it for ecto.
I
snapped dozens of pictures in the cemetery, but failed
to capture even a single orb. Often I would examine a
photo and see a mysterious something-or-other, but quickly
determine it was nothing at all. Though digital cameras
have made ghost hunting easier, they have also leeched
some of the wonder out of the sport, enabling you to immediately
zoom in on a spooky item and reveal it to be a nothing
more than a distant street lamp or your own camera strap.
*
* *
Its eleven-thirty, and the festivities are winding down.
The Expedition participants gather in the entrance of
the graveyard, cheerfully discussing what they saw and
felt during the visit. Sensitives describe the voices
they heard and the figures they saw. Photographers share
the images they have captured. One guy shows me a particularly
nice-looking orb, which looks for all the world like the
full moon despite the fact that there is no moon tonight.
Sure, I say knowingly, but zoom in on it and lets get
a better look. He increases the magnification to x2 and
then x5 and then x10. As it grows larger, the orb looks
just as mysterious, and I realize its also translucent
I can see trees and a headstone behind it. When the orb
fills the preview screen I surrender with a shrug.
As
we wait for the stragglers to join the group, I query
Ross about the voluminous press coverage they have been
recently receiving A.G.H.O.S.T. will be featured on a
local TV show this Halloween, and radio stations have
been clambering for interviews. Do you think theres genuine
interest in ghost hunting, I ask, or do you think they
interview you for the novelty value? Ross says there are
a lot of paranormal enthusiasts in the Pacific Northwest,
but that hes not particularly interested in the motives
of the media. I restate the question and get much the
same answer. I am trying to goad Ross into railing against
the disbelievers, but he isnt taking the bait. But when
youre doing radio interviews, I say, dropping the subtlety,
do the DJs ever, you know ridicule you guys? Ross shrugs.
Our goal is to explore the possibility of the supernatural
and have fun, he says simply.
Patricia,
standing nearby and listening to our conversation, interjects.
We tell people what we do and what we know. If they dont
believe it, thats their problem.
Ross
asks if I believe in ghosts. I admit that I do not, but
that Im open to the possibility. Then, on a lark, I ask
Ross if he believes in ghosts. It hadnt occurred to me
to ask before, because I assumed I knew the answer. Ross
surprises me by saying he isnt certain.
People
are essentially energy, Ross says, and we know that energy
cant be destroyed, so it makes sense for there to be something
left behind after we die. But Im a little bit on the skeptical
side. He tells me hes seen a lot of strange stuff since
he started A.G.H.O.S.T., but nothing that would constitute
conclusive proof. Id love it if a full-size apparition
just walked up to me, he says. But it hasnt happened yet.
Its
time to go. Ross takes a quick headcount of the assembled
group. I think everyones here, he says, but calls out
into the graveyard to be sure. I squint into the darkness
but cant see anything but the silhouette of trees.
Then,
in the distance, a shadow passes by, momentarily occluding
the gaps between two trees.
Did
you see that? Ross exclaims. I nod excitedly. The two
of us trot back into the cemetery.
Its
probably just a person, Ross says, perhaps to himself.
As we get closer, I can just barely make out something
moving in the darkness. Suddenly I wonder if maybe I shouldnt
let Ross go first, since hes, you know, the expert and
stuff. But I keep apace.
Our
shadow turns out to be one of the A.G.H.O.S.T. members,
saying final goodbyes to the graveyards inhabitants. Ross
looks at me and we both laugh guiltily. Damn, he chuckles.
I thought that was it.
I
know, I reply. I was, like, Im going to have the worlds
best ending to this story!

Matthew
Baldwin cracks wise daily at defectiveyeti.com.
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